See you later Jordan

Let me preface this that I don’t know when I’ll have internet next, but this entry was written on May 19^th, at 11pm.

I leave tomorrow morning at 6:30 am.  Well, that is at least when I start my journey.

Before I leave, I wanted to somehow mark the end of Jordan. All day today I felt as though I was supposed to be followed around with a trumpet or something, announcing my dispatch from the program. Obviously this wasn’t the case, and my entire day has been very anticlimactic. Nonetheless, I’ve said my goodbyes, I’ve looked at places in a that way you look at something that you know you won’t be seeing for a while, and I have packed up two bags of STUFF. In fact, a good one third of it (at least) is all presents, as I got rid of a bag of clothes already that are worn or I just didn’t want anymore.

So here I am. Sitting in my Jordanian bed for the last time, broken armoir to my left holding my duffel bag, coffee table to my right covered in socks and underwear set out to dry. I tried to stay awake to hang out with my host parents, but my eyes had other ideas for me, and I resigned to sleep in that Jordanian bed of mine. A buddy of mine said to me the other day, “Aren’t you sad?” And I told her, “yeah, I suppose…but I am ready to go, you know?” she acknowledged this, and concluded, “true. But aren’t you sad you can never do this again? I mean, you can come to Jordan, but not like this.”

This cynical realization is absolutely true. I will not be able to return to Jordan the same, with the same people, with the same experience and with the same intention ever again. I don’t know how exactly I’ve changed from this experience, but I wanted to give Jordan a bit of a thank you before I left.

So, Jordan…You Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan,

Thank you.

Thank you for introducing me to good coffee, incredibly fatty foods, your secret internet cafés, Rainbow Street, twenty qirsh falafel, sage tea, Maglouba, Wadi Rum, the Bedouins, humanity, generosity, insanity and sanity, argelieh, lemon ma na-na  juice, Petra, Sahlab, Madaba and Ma’in Hot Springs, beautiful CIEE students, shaaby shabaab hisses, the most incredible family I could ask for, tears, happiness, bliss, content, self-realization, sand-storms, the saltiest sea ever, beautiful fish at Aqaba, music, Hashem's, haggling, street cats, security and confidence,  little homework, minimal motivation, sunsets and desert sunrises, Arabic and all its friends, the appreciation of dresses, the politics, the hatred, the protests and corruption, and all the other pleasures and smiles you’ve given me on a day-to-day basis.

Thanks for everything Jordan, you’ve been grand. But now that you’re done, I think I am ready to go home. Though, I have to say..home is a very weird concept to grasp at this particular moment. We’ll see what happens when my past hits me in the face.

Bishufek, Urdun—see you in the future.

Wadi Rum Aftermath